Have you ever tortured yourself with a decision you needed to make? You go over and over the options, weigh up the pros and cons, talk to other people, worry that you will make the wrong decision and repeat the whole process over again until you hit analysis paralysis and you feel stuck and therefore make no decision at all.
I’ve been there are done it more times than I care to admit, it feels horrible and makes me anxious and disappointed in myself.
Recently I have been using a really great technique which has completely re-framed the way I look at the decisions I make and it is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders so I wanted to share it with you 🙂
Firstly, why it can be so hard to make decisions:
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All our lives since when we were young, our parents and other people have told us to be careful when we make a decision. They have our best intentions at heart of course but this creates fear in us that whatever we choose may be wrong
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We are scared that a wrong decision will deprive us of something – love, friendship, money, status, happiness
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We panic and think we need to be perfect and forget that we learn through our mistakes
What if I told you that there really is nothing to lose, only something to gain whatever choice you make or action you take in your life?
Feels great right!!
Let me explain, imagine you have a choice or decision to make in your life at a point in time
Most of us have been taught to use the No Win model
Choice
Choice A – Right? Or Wrong?
Choice B – Wrong? Or Right?
This is what keeps us in analysis paralysis. Should I go this way or that way? What if I choose A and it doesn’t work?
After you finally make a decision you come back and constantly reassess your decision, hoping you didn’t make a mistake.
Crazy!!
So let’s look at the decision using the No Lose model
Choice
Choice A – Right, opportunities, learning, growth
Choice B – Right, opportunities, learning, growth.
Notice that in front of you lies two paths – A and B – both or which are right. Each path has nothing but , opportunities, learning, growth along the way despite the OUTCOME
Each path shows you who you are, who you would like to be and what you want to do in your life.
THE KNOWLEDGE YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY IS THE KEY TO ALLOWING YOURSELF TO TAKE HEALTHY, LIFE AFFIRMING RISKS. Susan Jeffers
So, the next time you have a decision or choice to make, try the NO LOSE model and make this your mantra
SO WHAT, I’LL HANDLE IT
If you want to know more about both these models, you can read Chapter 7 of the book “Feel the fear and do it anyway”