Today I wanted to ask you to take a pause and reflect on how resistant you are to change on a scale of 1-10 (10 being OMG I hate it and stick my head in the sand and 1 being yeah perfectly comfortable, bring it on).
The reason we resist change so much is because of a few reasons (can you identify with any or all of these?)
- Loss of control – Change is exciting when it is done by us, threatening when it is done to us. Most of us need to feel in control of the events around us.
- Excess uncertainty – Simply not knowing enough about what the next step is going to be or feel like makes comfort impossible. If we don’t know where the next step is going to take us, change seems dangerous.
- Everything seems different – Change requires us to become conscious of, and to question, familiar routines and habits. A great deal of our life and work is habitual and the extra effort required to “reprogram” our habits and routines is what causes resistance to change.
- Concerns about competency – Sometimes we resist change because of personal concerns about our future ability to be effective after the change. Can I do it? How will I do it? Will I make it under the new conditions? Do I have the skills to operate in the new way?
- More work – The effort it takes to manage things under normal circumstances is multiplied when things are changing. Change requires more energy, more time and greater mental preoccupation. It requires above-and-beyond effort. It cannot be done automatically, it cannot be done without extra effort, and it takes time.
So what can we do about it when things are changing? How can we make ourselves feel better about a change? Here are a few ideas of what has worked for my clients and I:
- Make a list of the things that you do have control over, Stephen Covey calls this our circle of Influence. For example, we may not have control over the actual situation but we do have control over how we feel about it, how we show up in the world, what we say, how we spend or time.
- Divide a big change into more manageable and familiar steps; take a small step first. The next will become easier. How do you eat an elephant? One step at a time 🙂
- Acknowledge where there is uncertainty and the stress that comes with that and create a supportive network of people around you to help and support you.
- Make a list of all of your skills and remind yourself of how freaking fabulous you are.You are gathering evidence that you have done this in the past and you can do it again.
- Change requires work and effort, whether it is forced upon us or we choose it. There is no way around it.This is where your why is so important in order to keep you motivated and remind you of why you are doing this in the first place.
Want some support in any changes you are going through? Maybe you can find a tool or technique on my blog to help you. Over the years I have shared a ton of free techniques to support you on your journey.